Are You Your Own Worst Bully?
Over and over again in my work with clients, we uncover what is an overwhelmingly common core conflict. It always comes down to fundamentally not accepting yourself.
From this awareness we then link and understand that this is delusional and bullying behavior that sets the stage for further violating, blaming, victimizing, rationalizing, and addictive responses.
Can Self-Acceptance Be the Key to Becoming Whole?
To have a part of oneself refuse to wholly accept logically makes no sense, for we are who and what we are. How sad that others see this as so obvious, and the individual stays so unaware, so conflicted!
Louise Hay, in her classic self-help, recovery and spiritual development book You Can Heal Your Life, centrally focuses on unconditional self-acceptance as the key to all mind-body healing. She recommends standing before a mirror and saying to your reflection, I love and accept you just as you are.
My Five Key Questions to Reveal Core Conflict
Here are five key questions I’ve developed and recommend clients ask themselves to reveal core conflict:
1. What do I feel most afraid of?
2. What three people most hurt me in my life, and how?
3. If I sense anyone doesn’t like me, why do I think that happens?
4. If you could become someone different from who you feel you are, who would you be, and why?
5. What do feel in your heart of hearts is unworthy about you?
Here is Your Real Challenge to Accept
These are questions to reflect deeply on, from a place of tremendous willingness and honesty. They open a therapeutic and integrative dialogue that can allow your authentic spirit to also reveal your higher self to you.
Recording your answers invites your “still, small voice” to offer its inspired insights and guidance to you. My final recommendation, on that note, is to write the following phrase at the beginning of each of your above answers: I accept that I . . .
Now you have formed the beginning foundation to love and awareness, which has no condition, no central conflict . . . extends within and without, to Self and Others . . . the all-one (a-lone) connection in the great infinite space in which we exist.
In light, Marjorie