A Central Empowerment Challenge
The single greatest empowerment challenge clients present in their work with me is coming to realize, and act accordingly, that it is not necessary to get permission outside themselves. Women continue in many undeveloped (truly!) parts of the world to have to get permission to do just about anything; and certainly historically we emerge from a great patriarchal holdover of gender dominance and related abuse that is still working itself out.
I also see clients coming to realize that as grown-ups they no longer need to get permission to do anything; and that reflects our inalienable right to choose and to exist. This becomes a maturational adult challenge which can peak at almost any age in response to life crises.
Key Symptoms of Dependence
Feeling one has to get permission is not only infantile, then, it comes from a delusion of dependence which puts one at risk as well as prevents healing, empowerment and growth. Key symptoms of seeking permission include:
* feeling afraid to singularly make decisions
* feeling the need to justify or rationalize your actions
* presenting yourself solely as a victim
* saying phrases like “if only”, or “I’d better not . . . or else”
* saying someone or something else prevents you from doing what you want
The Best Way to Transform and Inspire
When we stop seeking permission to not only do, but at even deeper levels, be, we become more greatly caring not only to ourselves but each other. We inspire others to grow up and trust in their capacity to be truly responsible by accepting the power to choose freely with the understanding that this extends to an unconditional willingness to accept consequences.
We become more of who we really are, both stronger and more flexible; and realize we really are our own best heroes and heroines. This restores our power to love ourselves and each other as a right balance which can bring miraculous outcomes to in turn restore real loving and peace in the world.