The Swing Between Going and Not Going
My daughter was unusually pushy this evening to have me accompany her to see the new movie 50/50, telling me it was based on a true story about the person who played the part of the best friend of a young man who was diagnosed with a rare from of cancer, sarcoma, in his spine. Following babysitting and then celebrating my oldest grandson’s fourth birthday party, despite feeling tired and very cognizant about the upcoming fundraiser tomorrow of my not-for-profit organization, Centering for Wellness, followed by a choir rehearsal, I went.
“I think you’ll really like it”, my daughter said, “I really want to see it – it’s supposed to be good.” I did like it a lot, which of course didn’t come close to how much as I’ve liked, in this last year she’ll be home as the last of my four children to “fly the coop”, being with her.
Cancer as an Odyssey of Transformation, Ambiguity and the Ongoing Challenge of Healing
It well depicted what I have viewed as the amazing, transformational, inspiring and terrible healing odyssey of so many who have had cancer, of all ages, who I’ve had the honor to work with as a nurse clinician and holistic practitioner. And then there are my personal connections – and who doesn’t have them regarding cancer?
My amazing soul mate who died at 31 of sarcoma. My caring aunt who died in her eighties of metastatic brain cancer after having overcome breast cancer, as these twisted courses can go, decades earlier. Her courageous husband, my father’s brother, who was just about the age I am now when he died of metastatic colon cancer.
Does Life Balance Truly Mean 50/50?
Here’s what struck me most about this movie, even beyond the keenly-played stages of grief; the transformation and development of the young man with cancer in his twenties suddenly, through experiencing this pivotal life-threatening challenge, wholly coming of age; and the “crossover” relationship he experienced with his inexperienced therapist – my line of work, of course: the title of the film.
We hear so much about the need for lifestyle balance. In this call for balance, is the real message here that our lives, if we can view them with a large and realistic enough vision, are “just 50/50”?
The Truth About Acceptance
Does that blow holes in all the striving to be completely happy, completely cared for, completely fulfilled, or completely anything? Have we been baying after the moon with what may actually be such delusional efforts? And do we have the wherewithal to come to terms – ACCEPT – that 50/50 is enough?
How many times have you heard the saying, “you can say the cup is half empty or half full”? Do we have the power to develop enough, expand enough to simply say, IT’S BOTH . . . and let it go at that?
A Surprising Path to Ease Rather Than Dis-Ease
Would you change . . . would your life change if you understood this duality as a more accurate expression of the greater whole? I don’t think this is meant to deny your heart or your soul, your motivation or your effort.
Maybe it’s meant to take the pressure off and allow us to be even more greatly present and come to even higher, clearer resolution. I like to continue to recommend to clients and quite keenly to myself to view life as multi-dimensional experiments.
A Revolutionary Experiment of Empowerment
Try this view on for its size “experiment”, and see if you move more from dis-ease to ease, anxiety to comfort, helplessness to centrally-placed personal power. We don’t really ever have more than our true selves and our true vision to be able to greatly participate in the amazing flow of our own lives.
Maybe “50/50” is the best, most well-hidden (until now!) real deal we really float with.