Its a Bad Combination
I am impulsive. I used to have hair-trigger responses that have not completely gone away despite my ever-advancing age, including a temper. It is an odd combination with being extremely shy as a child, which also has its residuals, as well as quite sensitive; and carrying lots of old imprints of being pretty significantly traumatized, even terrorized, as well, on not one, but several key fronts that go back a long ways.
Of course, all of these factors could well fuel impulsivity, as would playing what at times can feel like an endless waiting game, with the haunting accompanying image of standing patiently at the back of a line, expecting at some point to make my way to the front regarding whatever my individual needs are that do deserve to be met, only to discover that somehow I don't ever change my position. And then there's the quality of passion in this mix - creative passion, physical passion, and really loving the adventure and excitement of a well-lived life.
All that being said, I do get reminded on a fairly regular basis by the universe that impulsivity does not have its uses, other than leading to addiction, entanglement and, speaking of the original translation of the word "sin" from the Hebrew, "missing the mark". Impulsivity is an acting-out behavior reflecting anger, fear and hopelessness regarding trusting and effecting complete outcomes.
Setting the Stage for Further Complications
As I've not written a journaling entry for quite some time, I wanted to explore this common quality that does get us in a whole lot of trouble and sets the stage for even more complications than those that may already understandably exist, thus making life challenges worse. Who among us is not impulsive? To be completely devoid of this quality is to deny the creative passion and presence of life, but the key differences lie in impulsivity also including the elements of immaturity, impatience, entitlement and separating oneself from reflective mindfulness.
So here is my related journaling exercise for you to try to reveal and resolve impulsiveness. Believe me, I'm trying right along with you!
A Healing Journaling Exercise to Recover Your Greater Self in 5 Key Steps
Settle back, take several deep cleansing breaths, close your eyes, and imagine that your guide, higher power, or sense of the divine joins you to answer the following questions and move you to write down all the responses which emerge:
- List 3 memories you have of behaving impulsively. Describe the situations involved and the outcomes.
- Now for each situation list what you learned from it. Consider if the learning you believe occurred stopped the particular kind of impulsive behavior going forward, and record these assessments.
- Go back to each memory, once more settle back and take several deep, cleansing breaths, and close your eyes. Experience each memory again, only this time, let the circumstances play out with you not behaving impulsively - instead, see yourself behaving reflectively and mindfully, while being fully, passionately present. What happens?
- Once more record these experiences. Then, taking your time, read through all that you've written and record any additional insights that occur.
- Ask yourself what you've learned through these different responses and outcomes that extend and improve your capacity to trust yourself, and become more empowered and successful in the world. Consider three choices you can make now to express this trust in whatever aspects of your life you choose.
A New Directive to Experience a Better Partnering with Reality
Happy experimenting! You've made a new commitment to yourself from a place of greater understanding, acknowledgment and insight, to break out of the trap of impulsivity, and change outcomes to best support your heart's desires.
Keep me posted, and trust in your power to well enjoy your unfolding life. You deserve it!